i have strep throat...

i mean really, 'cause it doesn't even hurt. my tonsils are beyond huge though, and it's annoying that i'll be 'contagious' until tomorrow evening, but what can you do.

every now and then i become extremely, un-necessarily messy...i'm almost sure its these hormones...hot mess. something shifted in me, changed and i can't understand what.

lately i've been in a weird mood.
and i've discovered the meaning of life.
it's bright and shinny.

not so much the meaning, but life in general.
like this is it.
i feel like i've just been waiting for summer to be over...but day in and day out, this is it...this is all. that's why i'm changing myself...making the most of everything, letting go of shitty people.

it's time to really follow your heart.
no test to study for, no semester to start over, no parents to plan it all out.

weird.

it's hitting me like an ocean all of a sudden.
i sort of don't like it.
sorta want to make it stop.

i'm not sure if i'm ready for adult hood, even though i'm living it. i'd like to freeze time...like five years ago. because i woke up one day and realized that things are never going to be like that again. friendships are never going to be like that. it's never going to be as easy.

but you can't undo time. it's sorta bitter sweet.

and maybe thats why twenty-something-people find it necessary to pretend they're still in high school, living out the drama of the he-said-she-said bullshit....maybe that's how they justify living off daddy's money.

they're missing out.
they're bored.
and boring.


i absolutely love reading the horoscopes...so right on.
along with my dream book.
both of which will change your life.
i've been having awesome dreams...
not like for real awesome, but when you find the meaning, they're really pointing in good directions.

i found out the other night, that my heart is open.
i've been waiting.