Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The world is an oyster.
more like a canvas wrapped around a large balloon.
that is how it floats.

the grass is the kind from Easter,
the clouds just brush strokes floating along.
trees are tiny dots, and all the humans and animals are too minuet to see.

the spinning sounds like an old chain link swing.
and the sun is a flash light, shinning so bright.
and the stars are glitter, in every color you could imagine.

and there is yarn stuck to it that makes the mountains.
the water is play dough to remind you of when we were young.
and it seems so small,

it is yours to go wherever you please.
and in one whisper
you're gone.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


i've never been in a band or anything, but i really don't understand why the people down stairs have to play their music so loud. it seems as though the noise is coming from the depths of hell, and its vibrations are pulsing through my feet, in my blood. i don't get the point of jamming that loud, they do it so often, i mean i know it's fun if you're super high and drunk and you're thinking "this sounds sooooooooooooo good!", but our neighbors do this day in and day out. are they seriously on drugs? and how come i'm never invited.

pilates. pilates are my new favorite, along with herbal bath soap and rugged warehouse. i love debbie, or people in general who teach you so much about life. at any rate, we work well together and are shopping soul mates. and we're going to change the world.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

to think about how much my parents actually love me, really chokes me up. and it almost makes me feel like moving home, just so i can be closer to them. almost.

we had the best weekend. though it is exhausting when they come to visit, we have so much fun and it really makes me realize that they would do anything for me.

i love them, completely.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

after tuesday night, everything is so clear.

and in my heart, i know everything is going to be fine. and i am so glad.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hey High School,

Just wanted to say hey, and that I miss you and everything. I miss those giant flower pots we used to sit on before class, and those stupid stretchy book covers we used to have. I miss the lunch table, and the way walking through the cafeteria made me feel awkward, like everyone in the whole room was staring at me even though there was no way in hell that they were.

And remember that time when I was late to Japanese because I was talking to Andrew and I fell up the stairs, and flew into class with a bloody hand while the pledge of allegiance was on.

Oh Andrew. I miss the way I used to feel just being around Andrew...even though he turned out to be bad news, and I hardly think about him anymore. But I do miss the days we used to skip class and think we were so bad ass. Or the first time we got high.

And the same way year book could get me excused for being late, I could tell my mom that the automated phone call was because we had a substitute that day, and THEY didn't know how to take attendance.

and pencil sharpeners.
and NO cell phones.
and bathroom passes.
and notes.

I guess I really just miss the way I was with my friends. How they were the world to me, attached at the hip, every Wednesday at hungry howies no matter what.

You see, I found this picture in my glove box the other day. Of me, Ashly, Steven, and Mike...and it was sorta heart breaking. Because I can't remember the last time I felt like that. Just hanging out and doing nothing...when my friends genuinely were my number one priority.

before debt, break ups, and bills. and careers...and busy busy schedules. Before you learned how to be malicious, jealous, and mean.

Damn Does it suck.

not saying that i'm not in a better place now. I mean I do have my own financial and personal freedom. I don't have rules or curfews.

but, it was just so much fun.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

life is beautiful.
and i am greatful for every thing i have, and everyone that i know.
i believe in God.
i believe in my friends.
i believe in karma.

and sometimes there are moments that are so wonderful, so unbelievably breath taking that i get choked up just thinking about how i don't want it to end.

and there are days that i don't want to end.

and i feel the same way when i think about getting older.

i love my family.
and my dog.
& Casey.
the beach.
the stars.
those rare nights where you have super long conversations.
sun roofs.
flip flops.